Play Hard

Hybrid Interaction consultant Shahar Attias rounds off 2019 by telling Tim Poole all about coffee, kosher whisky and CRM on an alien planet.

IN THE CRM DIARY YOU WROTE FOR TRAFFICOLOGY IN OCTOBER, YOU JOKED YOU "WONDER ABOUT THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE AND CAREER CHOICES." IF ALIENS LANDED IN FRONT OF YOU AND, IN EXCHANGE FOR ANYTHING YOU DESIRE, OFFERED YOU ANY POSITION ON THEIR PLANET, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?

Hybrid Interaction consultant Shahar Attias rounds off 2019 by telling Tim Poole all about coffee, kosher whisky and CRM on an alien planet

Honestly, I wouldn't change what I'm doing. I really enjoy it - I often say I cannot understand why clients pay me! I would probably find it difficult to adapt to a new planet. But, that said, I would probably enjoy complaining in different gravity levels as well.

YOU ALSO MENTIONED COFFEE A LOT AND CLAIMED YOU AREN'T ADDICTED AND CAN STOP AT ANY POINT. IF YOU COULD CHOOSE BETWEEN NEVER HAVING COFFEE AGAIN OR ONLY EVER DRINKING COFFEE-BASED BEVERAGES, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

No alcohol, are you crazy? I actually use coffee as a means to stay focused, so if I could get it as a shot, I wouldn't mind. I would probably survive without coffee - at least for four hours - and normally when I sleep. If I had to choose only drinking coffee again or the others, I would choose the others. Coffee has a very targeted purpose in my life and could be replaced.

THE FINAL THING I'D LIKE TO PICK UP FROM YOUR DIARY PIECE IS YOU SAYING CRM OPERATIVES ARE THE "ROCKSTARS" OF THE ONLINE GAMING INDUSTRY. IF YOU HAD TO START A ROCK BAND RIGHT NOW - WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?

Probably Pivot and the Reload Bonuses. A pivot table is what we use on Microsoft Excel (Trafficology: You just thought of that now? SA: Yes, of course).

WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST STORY YOU CAN TELL US FROM ONE OF YOUR EXPERIENCES AT AN AFFILIATE SHOW?

I'm Jewish and there's a higher proportion than average of Jewish people at affiliate conferences. In one of the affiliate shows, they decided to hold a Shabbat Dinner at a local Chabad house.

But what do you do with alcohol when it's a kosher food dinner? Well, apparently, since Scots are quite crazy about whisky, getting whisky certified as a single malt goes through so many levels of certification. So Jewish rabbis have agreed unanimously all single malt whiskys are kosher. I'm dead serious. It's the only type of food or drink in the world that doesn't need to be certified by a rabbi. If it's branded as single malt from Scotland, it's accepted as kosher.  

Affiliate conferences, at large, are pissing contests. So each company tried to bring more expensive bottles than the others. The evening ended up with us on roller skates at the local discotheque, having no clue if they were actually skating around us or if the world was just spinning.

IF I GATHERED THREE OF YOUR COLLEAGUES IN A ROOM AND ASKED THEM TO DESCRIBE YOU, WHAT WOULD THEY SAY - THAT YOU WOULD SAY IS NOT TRUE?  

You probably understand already I'm a very modest person. So all my colleagues would say I am sexy as hell and they worship and idolise the way I look. I wouldn't agree because that's who I am I'm just a CRM expert.  

WHAT IS THE WORST DECISION YOU'VE EVER MADE?  

I want to say taking this interview!  

IF YOU WERE GIVEN A FULL-PAGE ADVERT IN TRAFFICOLOGY AND HAD TO SELL YOURSELF IN SIX WORDS OR LESS, HOW WOULD THE AD READ?  

True story: there used to be an award for internet super companies acknowledging development of the internet when it just started. Google won one of the awards with a speech limited to five words. They said: Google provides excellent search results. Six words?  

Maximise your players' lifetime value, bitch.